Put on a happy face

Saturday the sibs, my parents, and myself decided to hack up some pumpkins. Well, I just hovered around and took pictures since I was once again down with the plague. It was a welcome break in an otherwise hectic few weeks. It's been midterm and there are projects up the wazoo. I also decided that money is nice so I picked up a second job doing some office work with mom early in the morning. It's amazing that I still manage to function on 5 hours of sleep. I have noticed that I'm a little more spacey than normal. I think I'm beginning to understand ADD. And narcolepsy.

Quite the Celebration

I went to the wedding yesterday and it was as I thought. Stretches of awkward broken up by bits of godawful. Surprisingly, it was the people I used to be the closest to that were the hardest to be around. Noodles was busy being the bride. Chipmunk was a busy bridesmaid but still fit it into her schedule to be mean. I'd like to think it was because she had been drinking for 6 hours but my feelings were still hurt. I ran into a table of old friends and I swear that every single one of them were pregnant or had just had a kid within the last 3 months. I was shocked. They went around telling me what they had been up to and when they got to me, I had to tell them I was back in school. And single. And still living in the college town. Most of them looked at me with pity. I wanted to scream at how they all looked at me. I wanted to tell them how much effort it took for me to not look at them like that. I found few friendly faces in that table. My friend Holly, who although pregnant as well, was so sweet and supportive. The other was surprisingly an old friend's husband. I got the impression that he was a little overwhelmed at the table of moms and was just happy to have someone to drink with and not talk about diaper genies or swollen ankles.
I only stayed for a couple hours. I've always been touch and go about weddings, even before I got divorced. I usually don't mind the turns my life has taken or the lessons I've learned but these people I once considered my friends have a way of turning that upside down. They look at me in a way and say things that make me feel so little. I haven't really spent any time with them in the past few years and I can see now why. If a few hours can make me feel so miserable, I wonder what I would have been like if I'd have kept in touch. For all I know, I could still be in an empty marriage. Or could be pregnant. Just to avoid those looks. I'll keep my chaos over that hell.
Congratulations, Noodles...

Awol

Seeing as Modo thinks I've fired everyone, I should probably update.

If you don't have anything nice to say...
I've felt like the only thing I want to write about have been rants and I'm tired of being a downer all the time. I don't want to change the name of my blog to Anger Management. I'm just sick of the usual suspects: poor customer service, rude people, instructors with no grasp on reality, and my roommate. There are a plethora of posts buried there but I'm trying to let go. I've got enough stress in my life right now.

An unintentional high school reunion...
I have to go to a wedding today that is going to be uncomfortable. It is a friend I've had since 2nd grade but we've drifted apart over the last decade and now the only time she calls me is when she wants something. She's also the type that stays friends with everyone so she's invited everyone we ever knew. I wasn't the popular kid in high school and neither was she. I'm not sure why she feels obligated to invite these people but I really had no intention of ever seeing them again. I wasn't going to go until Chipmunk told me I really should. I expect an onslaught of high school related nightmares for the next 6 months.

I'll just wear a sign...
Kinda tied into the whole wedding thing is strangers keep asking me if I'm single or not. Strangers and people I haven't seen in awhile. Why is it no one thinks it odd if a guy is single but if a woman is, it's some sort of tragedy. I'm probably being over sensitive but I'm just tired of it.

Tis the season...
I got a little gyped on my summer but I'm actually happy that it's turning Fall. I like the fall clothes, the fall food, and the fall colors. I'm naturally an autumn. Part of me even kinda likes the rainy cold days where the wet leaves stick to everything and you have to huddle inside your coat against the damp wind. The wind feels nice in my ears. I only hope that since summer was short that we'll have a longer autumn before winter sets in. Winter does not feel nice in my ears.

Surprisingly optimistic...
I watch the news every morning and for the last few weeks its been all gloom and doom about the economy. I'm totally being a Pollyanna but I think everything is going to be fine. If anything, it's making me reevaluate my spending habits and makes me want to be a more responsible spender. It probably helps curb any burgeoning alcoholism because all that beer isn't responsible spending. Yay economy!

So there you have it, Modo. I'm still alive. Still stressed out. Still trying to stay positive. For now.