Thursday, August 28, 2008

Alphameme

It's Thursday and I'm tired. So there.

A. Attached or Single? Single. Doesn't "attached" sound like it involves leeches? Just a thought.

B. Best Friend? For the longest time I didn't have one outside my family (is that sad? Eh, it never bothered me too much) but I think I've finally got one. She's a hoot and doesn't mind that I'm a little odd.

C. Cake or pie? Oh man, that's like choosing between pets. I'm gonna say pie but yellow cake with chocolate frosting is a mega-close second.

D. Day of choice? Sunday. It's the one day where I try to do nothing.

E. Essential item? Chapstick. I have probably 15 of them scattered around.

F. Favorite color? Red. Dark, deep, blood red.

G. Gummy bears or worms? Worms. Especially the red/orange combination.

H. Hometown? BFE, Iowa.

I. Favorite indulgence? Sushi.

J. January or July? July. Me loves the heat and humidity. And my birthday, just a little.

K. Kids? Now? Hell no. In the future? If god is a comedian.

L. Life isn’t complete without? A sense of humor.

M. Marriage date? Uh, had one in 2005 but it's a few years past its expiration.

N. Number of brothers and sisters? An older sister, older brother, and younger brother. And their respective spouses. They all rock.

O. Oranges or Apples? Apples. Oranges have a gross texture. Like little fish eyeballs popping in your mouth.

P. Phobias? Public speaking and heights. And burning alive.

Q. Quotes? They look like this: ""

R. Reasons to smile? There are way too many.

S. Season of choice? Summer. Fall comes in second.

T. Tag 5 people: I don't think 5 people even stop by here...

U. Unknown fact about me? I have this weird thing where if I make a sandwich, I have to take a bite out of it before I put the ingredients back. So if you ask me to make you a sandwich, consider yourself warned.

V. Vegetable? Cucumbers. with ranch? as pickles? delish.

W. Worst habit? Being suspicious of everyone.

X. X-ray or Ultrasound? I had an ultrasound of my heart a few years ago and it sticks with me as one of the most awesome things ever. I could see it BEATING! (Proof for you skeptics who didn't think I had one)

Y. Your favorite food? Chicken Poblano Rojas or Mexitalian spaghetti. Nom nom nom.

Z. Zodiac sign? Cancer. Because every teenage girl loves their symbol to be a crab. Bastards.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Fresh pencils

Yesterday I started back up again with classes. I've been dragging my feet but when it comes right down to it, I love the first few days of classes. I love gathering all the things I'll need for the year. I love walking to class wondering about my instructors. I love seeing people I haven't seen all summer, the familiarity of buildings, the smells of the studios and photography labs. I love meeting new people, seeing the freshman with total confusion on their faces, seeing the shy ones come out of their shell once they realize that high school is over. I'm sure in a couple weeks all the fairy dust will wear off but for now, I'm really glad to be back at class.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Guess which one of us is blonde

I came home the other night and my roommate was telling me how she had done a bunch of cleaning during the day. I was pretty proud of her, actually. She even had cleaned out the fridge and rearranged the freezer. I peeked inside and saw stacks of frozen vegetables neatly stacked, labeled, and dated. As I looked closer, I had to ask her something...

Me: "Uh, dude...did you put names on the vegetables?"

Her: "Yeah! I thought it would keep it easier since we buy a lot of the same things!"

Me: " Um, you realize we have the same first name, right?"

Her: " Yeah...why...oh duh."

She had written "Em" on all of her stuff.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Well ma'am, do you have a time machine?

Customer on the phone: "What time do you close?"

Me: "We close at 6." I glance at the clock and it's 5:50.

CotP: "My kid's glasses are in, will I make it in time if I leave now?"

Me: "Uh, well, where do you live?"

CotP: " We're in Des Moines. If we leave now we can be there in 45 minutes or so."

Me: "Well, we close in ten minutes."

CotP: "So you don't think I can make it?"

Monday, August 18, 2008

Alas.

A week from today I will be fully engaged in another semester.

Damn.

So here's to my last week of sweet freedom (sorta, because I've been working full-time, lets not be delusional). Here's to sunshine, beer, bowling, fishing, lawn chairs, flip-flops, patios, more beer, bikes, tents, grills, humidity, thunderstorms, fruit markets, innertubes, cowboy hats, stock car racing, ice cream, state fairs, sushi, outdoor concerts, tank tops, car trips, bikinis, campfires, margaritas, freckles, and burning yourself on seat belts. I will miss you.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Imitation is the best flattery. or something.

Wednesday night I went with my dad to the truck and tractor pulls at the State fair. Yes, it sounds like what it is. A tractor/truck hitches up to this weighty trailer thingy, as the truck/tractor pulls it a weight moves up the trailer towards the truck/tractor and at some point, the truck/tractor can't pull it any farther. Eh, google it if that made no sense.

Anyways.

As I drank my beer and settled in for the loud long haul, my dad kept making remarks on how much of a 'trooper' I was and how I was alot like him (apparently he had no idea I drink beer. alot.). Over the course of the night and the next day, I got to thinking about his observation. Most of the time, I'm compared to my mom. We look identical (albeit a few years apart), have the same sick sense of humor, and are known for sarcasm. I did inherit a great deal of my personality from my dad, though.

He and I both have a limited tolerance for bullshit. Don't try to schmooze us or win us over with all your accomplishments. We could care less. Impress us with how good of a person you are and maybe we can talk.

We also have the ability to be a chameleon. While dad perfected the art of being able to talk to anyone, I'd say I've been able to pick it up pretty well. Need to talk to the CEO of a major corporation? Done. Need to talk to a local farmer? Done. We can switch up our personalities just enough to put the other person at ease.

I also managed to inherit my dad's temperment. While the women in my family are known for their, ah, moodiness...I stay a pretty even keel like my dad. Granted, he and I are also alike in that when we get pissed, we get PISSED. Just stay the hell out of the way until it blows over. Along with an even temperment is an even temperature too. I have yet to figure out why he and I can stay pretty comfortable in 95+ and 45 below. Except in movie theaters. He and I are different there.

Finally, he and I are alike in that we both can have gruff exteriors but underneath we're pretty soft-hearted. Be it friend, family, or critter...we take care of those who are dear to us. So while he may make some comment about how I had something to do with planning his birthday dinner, I'm just following along in family footsteps. I'm just trying to take care of him like he's taken care of me and the rest of the family. Because, let's face it, it's a hell of a lot easier than trying to grow a beard like his.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Did anyone get the number of that truck?

I hurt. My shoulders ache from carrying tubes, my back is jacked from sleeping on an airbed, and well...my ass is all scraped up from falling over while tending to nature (no, there aren't pictures). The one thing not on that list, no sunburn! Even in a, uh, semi-altered state, I was still able to keep putting sunscreen on every 15 minutes. I went through 2 bottles, Dad! Aren't you happy.

I'll spare the gritty details (well, any more seeing as you already know what happened to my ass) but it rocked. We met some interesting people and there are quotes that will make sense to no one outside the group. It was one of those awesome kinds of trips. I'm hoping to get some pictures from the waterproof camera that made it on the river but I'm pretty not-awesome about posting pics in a timely fashion. Yeah yeah, I fail at life. But I ROCK at putting on sunscreen.

Thanks TJ for the tip but paddles? PADDLES? They didn't say anything about paddles. We just floated unaided, with only our wits and empty beer cans to save us. Thank god we had empty beer cans.

Friday, August 08, 2008

Whatever floats your boat. Er, tube.

I'm leaving today for an All Girls Weekend Extravaganza. I, along with 6 other ladies (including the Twins, my lovely sister-in-law, and her friend that I have designated as the Wild Child) are going tubing down a river in Wisconsin. I'm not sure if this fad is restricted to midwesterners but it seems like the thing to do in the summer. Get a bunch of people, a cooler of beer per, and an innertube. Float and drink for a few hours. Repeat. I'll be the first to admit that I haven't ever done this before. There's some part of it that offends my prim side. That part would be the fact that there are no bathrooms, with the exception of the water you're floating in.

Gross.

I never grew up swimming. I heard rumors about peeing in pools but there's like chlorine and stuff to take care of it (let me have my delusions). The fact that I'm going to be just floating around in urine all day makes me a little nauseous. Okay, a lot nauseous. I'm bringing bleach to soak in after I'm done.

Aside from that grody concept, I think it's going to be fun. I'm sure I'll be my typical mom-self and not drink too much and keep an eye out for my friends. Or maybe my lovely sister-in-law will be the little devil on my shoulder and get me into trouble. At this point, who knows which way the pendulum will swing. After introducing the plans to my dad and telling him who was going, his first words were "Oh shit, are you girls gonna get arrested?!".

I know a good bail bondsman.

So here's to another summer adventure. I'll TRY and take pictures but I've been warned that this isn't the crowd to catch in their swimsuits. I might get punched and the memory card taken out of my camera. I'll be sure and take a picture of my black eye for posterity.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Lots of scribbling

Busy busy busy. After classes got out, I made it my sole purpose in life to squeeze as much as I could out of the rest of my summer. None of that sitting at home, watching Bravo in my pjs, eating cereal straight out of the box bullshit. I made exceptions for going to my sister-in-laws to sit, watch bravo, and eat sushi. Totally different. Sushi = class and therefore not bullshit.

A little thing I'd like to call Redneck Saturdays (and I mean that completely lovingly, for those who also attend this event). It involves Busch light and/or THE SILVER BULLET. It involves stock cars. It involves delicious junk food, loud noises, and potentially making an ass out of myself. Oh yeah, its going to the stock car races to watch my brother compete. As a side bonus, its a chance to watch my grandmother (NOT a stock car racing kinda gal) wander around and be a general pain in the ass. Talks during the race about nothing relevant...follows my dad EVERYWHERE...scowls when you don't want to leave in time for Jeopardy (or whatever old people do at 10pm). One day, I'll look back on these days and call them "The Early Years Before She Went Entirely Batshit Crazy".

For something entirely different, theres Project Runway Night! (commence tuning out for the next paragraph, males) We lizzadies gather, eat, and talk in the third person in honor of Suede. Em thinks Suede is hilarious. Em also hopes they keep him on because he is more bizarre than that little tanorexic twit. Em hasn't been agreeing with the judges most of this season but Em isn't getting paid for her opinion. She's usually right about Shear Genius though. (Why does Charlie always have his mouth hanging open?)

The last two days I've been twiddling my thumbs at work. The Bossman is outta town so I have to run the show. The very slow show. I've spent most of my time surfing the net, I won't even pretend that I'm not. Good news? Blog fodder. Bad news? My eyes are burning out of my head. I'm definitely going to have to wear glasses more when I go back to class because damn, I can't take staring at monitors like I used to. But Hello? This site? And this one? Maybe not this one so much.

Speaking of class. In my infinite genius, I have been convinced all summer that it starts on the 18th. I was counting down the remaining days of summer with sadness. Until. Until someone pointed out that they start the 25th. Mixed emotions on that one. Annoyed because I hate hate HATE being wrong. Overjoyed because uh, FREEDOM. For another week, anyways. I have yet to tell bossman about the snafu. Might just relish that there 20 hour week with nothing else to do.

Okay damn. I seriously need to go get some eyedrops.