Thursday, May 22, 2008

Not so super

Tuesday night, Chipmunk and my typical adventures landed us in a search for betta food. Alas, tiny Fishy Fisherton had been abandoned by her previous roommate and as Chipmunk had never owned a fish, she was feeding it random bits in hopes that it would suffice. After her weeklong experiment, we've determined Fishy doesn't like Crispix, tater tots, cheese sticks, broccoli, tiny bits of salmon (she was testing cannibalism, she claims), or oatmeal cookies. She also had contemplated buying Fishy roommates and a larger tank. Bettas don't like roommates or larger tanks. At any rate, it was an evening full of edumacating Chipmunk on the lifestyle and preferences of Bettas. Our search for Betta food led us to the newest Last Resort in town.

The Super Walmart.

They just finished putting it up a couple months ago and my town has decided its a love/hate relationship. For example...while Chipmunk and I were coming around a corner, Sunshine and her boyfriend met us. She looked at me with wide eyes and then scowled. She gave me a half-hearted hello and we went on our ways. I talked to her the next morning and she apologized. She was ashamed and pissed at being seen in the Super Walmart, a place she vowed never to go.

I don't blame her. Aside from all the weird politics around Walmart, the Supers are a giant (literally) pain in the ass. It's not very convenient to have to buy your groceries on one side and your shampoo on the cleeeeeear other side. I know what you're doing Walmart. I know you want me to wander through those aisles packed with cheap home furnishings and (I'm sorry) ugly clothes. I don't need 30 packs of socks. I don't need a zebra print rug. I don't need the newest book from whatever televangelist/cult leader your selling this week. I just wanna buy my stuff and get the hell outta there. Unfortunately for me, it was Fishy's life in balance and I had to go there. And then walk a block across the store to get juice. I think for some of the smaller towns in the area, The Super is fantastic. But honestly, I'd rather deal with much smaller businesses and not deal with all the hassle. Because less hassle is way more super.

3 comments:

Rio Vista Boy said...

Have you heard of this ancient ritual where people who love Beta's (and other various creatures) gather at a local tabernacle where wise clerics bless the true followers with informative doctrine and powerful mojo's (such as Beta food, dog collars, cat sweaters) and then fanatic animal lovers leave tithes of gold coins and stacks of twenty dolar bills as tributes of faith and love towards their beloved animals? It is still a fairly popular social cult and active in even the smallest of townships. I'd consider converting if I were you.

Sizzle said...

I've never been to a super store. Though if there is a super target, I am so there.

sue said...

Arrgghhh. Hope I never, ever, EVER have to go there.