slowly but surely

Ever feel like you're way behind on things but you're just overwhelmed and don't know where to start so you'd rather just curl up in bed and hide under the covers and just sleep for a week and pretend like it will all go away?

I wish they made an IV version of coffee.

He may have a point

Yesterday, I was talking to a friend of mine how about how I always seem to get sick when I have deadlines or important things to get done. He determined I'm allergic to reality and that I should be forced to go live on a beach somewhere, for my own health of course. Oh if only.

No sense of timing

I'm sick. AGAIN.

Started feeling shaky before bed but just thought I was tired. Spent the rest of the night as no one wants to. I have so much to do, we're in the last couple weeks of school. I'm hoping this thing just blows over quick so I can get back to being stressed out and psychotic.

Damnit.

Black Friday

Since moving back, Black Friday has a whole new joyous gleam. I used to work for a Big Box PetStore as a manager. Black Friday meant getting into the store at 3 am and then having to put up with elderly rich women having me do all their shopping for their Fifis. One gave me a handful of tags and told me these were all the items she would like to purchase and would I be so kind to go gather them for her. Another took an hour of my time trying to find the right outfit that would set off Mr. Fluffy's eye and fur color. Yet another had me follow her around the store with a cart as she picked out her items. One wanted me to do all the running around the store for her while she gave me her list over the phone. My boss said I could draw the line on that one.

Today, I came into work at 9. So far, there has been one person in for an adjustment after a grandkid mangled his glasses. That's pretty much all I'll be doing today. Adjusting glasses and hearing about what fun was had when families got together. I get to leave at 3.

I salute you poor retail workers that had to be at work even at midnight last night. I sympathize that you're going to have a day from hell and you'll be lucky if your store springs for lunch (even if its an effort to keep you in the store all day, poor Lowe's people). I pat you on the back, managers, who don't want to be there as much if not more than the associates and are going to take the brunt of everyone's wrath. Working in retail can really suck on this dark day but please, please keep a smile on your face. Do your damndest to do a good and honest job. Even when people start fist-fighting over the last discounted DVD player, remember that someday even you can escape and work at a job where you get to leave at 3 pm after having sipped coffee and done sudoku puzzles all day.

Muahahahaha!

15 Things I'm Thankful For

1) My family - the immediate one and those who married into it

2) My friends - the ones who get that I'm not the easiest person to be friends with

3) My dog

4) Health - Asthma and allergies are nothing in the grand scheme

5) My job - Life is nicer when you don't dread going to work

6) My town - not too big, not too small, not too many serial killers

7) My country - and those who fought/fight to keep it this way

8) My Ex - Couldn't have had a life-altering lesson in priorities without him

9) Coffee

10) My twisted sense of humor - I can't imagine how sad life would be without it

11) High heels

12) The good days

13) The bad days

14) Aging and growing up - There's something really great about it

15) All the life lessons I get on a daily basis, not always fun but always important

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

If you're gonna fall off the wagon, fall hard

Yesterday, I took a break from my no-sugar-ness and had a ginormous piece of chocolate cake. For supper, I had half a box of fruit loops. This morning, I have discovered there is such a thing as a sugar hangover. Bleh.

Monday scraps

- Put up Christmas decorations at work yesterday. It's a little early for my taste (working in big box retail ruined me for early holiday celebration) but I think I can manage. Might even try and scrounge something up for my apartment.

- After putting lights up in the metalwork of the ceiling, I've got what feels like the beginning of a headcold. I'm hoping its just the dust clearing out of my system.

- I didn't get much sleep last night and it feels like there's sand in my eyes. I work for an eyedoctor. We don't have a single bottle of eyedrops in the joint. The irony is not lost on me.

- We are out of coffee. Not good.

- My truck is making death noises. My little (not so little, actually) brother agreed to look at it this morning. I appreciate the hell outta that guy. Wish I wasn't such a jerk to him when we were kids.

- My dad just made a sappy face when he read that last one.

- Now he's laughing at me.

- Now I have to get back to processing Medicare claim forms. This is akin to having your brain removed through your ears or your hair ripped out strand at a time. Did I mention we're out of coffee? It's gonna be a grouchy one.

In a parallel universe...

As I've stated before, my family is an odd one. We're not scary or anything, we're just special. We have a twisted sense of humor and I've never really met another family like us.

Until yesterday.

I have two friends who are sisters. I call them twins* because they're very similar but they're about 4 years apart. I get along with them fantastically which is rare...I usually get along better with guys but these two are fun. At any rate, their mom is in town this weekend so they invited me out to meet her. It was surreal. When they all got together, it was like being at my own dinner table. There were smartassed remarks as well as candid talk about hard times. The twins have been my friends for a while but by the end of the night I felt like I'd known them forever. Something about seeing a family interact puts a person into perspective. It was really fun to be a part of it. I know my family can be a little overwhelming but I hope when people see us, they get the same sense that we're good people.


*one of the twins looks just like Sizzle...it's uncanny.

TGIT

In my family, the term "Stress Management Meeting" has a vivid definition. It usually involves my dad, beer, lawn chairs, and a random batch of locals hanging out and bullshitting. This year, I've been blessed with my own version. Every Tuesday night, whoever can make it shows up at a local chicken wing place and we get a couple hours to drink beer, eat cheap food, catch up and relax. As the semester has progressed, I've realized I really look forward to it. I never pegged myself for being one to have a weekly hangout but it's fantastic, I recommend it strongly.
How's about y'all? Any superfun friend get-togethers?

Why I don't make friends

Drunk obnoxious guy whose been hitting on a friend of mine: "Hey you, Red! What're you drinkin'?"

Me: "It's a Drunk Idiot Stumper!"

D.O.G...: "A wha?"

Me: "Exactly. Now move along, son."

Asking for miracles

Saw two missionaries trying to talk to college students on their way to the bars. Good luck, boys.

An experimental month

I've decided that November is IT. The month where I'm going out on a limb and trying to implement some things that might further better my quality of life. After last month's exercise in cutting back sugar, I think I can do anything.

Things on the list:

- Even MORE vegetables: after the Wok Challenge a while back, I'm trying more of them. I'll take any suggestions you may have. I'm very sheltered when it comes to eating veggies. They scare me.

- Watching my budget: the previous trend of just doing what I want and hoping it all works out just doesn't work. I'm actually going to cut back this month and see what kind of impact it makes. It might/will definitely suck but this is a learning exercise. I can do it.

- Cutting back on TV: I think it's started to affect my quality of sleep and that ain't cool. Gonna have to start reading again before bed.

- I wanna be more flexible. I can't keep blaming the fact that I can't touch my toes on my height. Aside from a yoga class that will cost aforementioned strapped money, does anyone have any ideas?

I think that's it for now...Can't go changing the whole world, ya know.

It's a conspiracy

Mkay, we've talked about this. We've established that creepy toy stores are the edificial equivalent of clowns. So why, oh why, did some genius come up with THIS? Natalie dear, you've been one of my faves but this betrayal will not go unnoticed.

contemplating perfection

One of the things I feel like I talk about alot is my desire for perfection. I look for it constantly in myself and have occasionally tried to impose it on my relationships. After talking with other people who struggle with the same thing, it's interesting on how it comes about.
I can tell you where I get it from. Growing up, I was awkward and eccentric. I never felt entirely comfortable in my skin or my personality (but who doesn't, really). I remember going to a class one morning during my senior year and the teacher said something that changed how I perceived myself. She said that there was just something about me, I didn't act like the other kids, I acted like royalty but not in a pompous way. She thought of Princess Diana every time I walked into a room. Needless to say, it caught me completely off-guard. I disagree with the royalty part but it still gave me a boost. I didn't feel quite as awkward and took a little more pride in my accomplishments. But with each accomplishment, I was convinced I could do better. I'm not one of those prodigy-like talents for academics but I've always thought that if you work harder you can make yourself smarter. Someone's brain is their greatest asset. Since that transition in my senior year, it's become my addiction to make myself smarter. Every exam is a competition...I always want to be the first to finish and in the top 3 percent. My friends make fun of me because I'm usually twitching with anticipation before exams, I never played sports but I can imagine that's kind of what it's like before a game. Every project is an exercise in wanting to be better than everyone else. Every conversation, even, is a chance to learn something or teach something.
After these years, perfection and I have had a bumpy relationship. Sometimes, it's what pushes me to do a good job. Other times, it pushes me to the edge where I just can't take it any more. Briefly, perfection took a toll on my body when I had people telling me that I could be a model...if I managed to lose weight. I was young and stupid and perfection convinced me that a size 3 was completely reasonable for someone who is 5'10 (as my mother would say, I'm much better now). Perfection has dictated whether or not I'd give a guy a chance. The most infamous rejection I can recall was due to his uneven eyebrows. Granted, it's also saved me from the guys that weren't right for me in the least even though they looked great on paper.
Very recently, I've started to relinquish a little bit of my perfectionist tendencies. I've had a class that I just can't beat and I've decided that my happiness is not worth being obsessed with it. I've felt surprisingly better since. Ironically, my perfectionist tendencies make it possible to quit perfectionism for this class cold-turkey. I'm perfect at being not perfect...?
Thinking about my perfectionism and where it comes from, I wonder about addiction. There's alcoholism in my family history and I always wondered if that gene would kick in or if I was saved. Perhaps I just got another breed of addiction and if I give in to it to its full extent, it will kill me just as surely as alcoholism would. I'm not willing to find out. I really love being the first to finish an exam but I also love being able to relax and not worry about the one more thing I could fix. Life's too short. So you can bet your ass I'm going to be good, I'm just done being perfect.

More sleepy

Got to sleep around 5:45, woke up at 7. There are naps in my future.

The Aftermath

Sleepy.

Young neighbors got in around 3 AM. Decided the hallway was a nice place to have a party. It was loud. Really, really loud. I shoulda done something about it. This morning there was pumpkin shrapnel all over the hall. All. Over. The. Hall. Guts made it all the way up the 14 foot walls. On the upside, the Weekend Stairwell Mystery Pee Graffitist did not show up for the Halloween festivities. Is it sad that this is an upside?