Back to our regularly scheduled program

Mkay, so Halloween has been postponed. Until next year. After talking with my posse, it turns out that most of them went out costumed this weekend while I was in midterm/project/study mode. The only ones who will be out tonight will be the youngins in the 18 million variations on the 'whore' costume. I'm going to pass. I have half a thought that I might host a costume new years party in order to make up for my lack of, uh, costumeyness. We'll see.

In other news, I watched "Knocked Up" last night and I have to say that it was not funny in the least. I get that it's supposed to be. I understand that some of the lines were funny. The subject matter, however, terrified me beyond all comprehension. I couldn't help thinking how awful that situation would be throughout the entire movie. Further confirmation that the universe does not want me to procreate.

it's amazing what a little leaf kicking can do

I feel great! After my attitude change about that class we will no longer talk about, things have been looking up. I finished a project ahead of schedule, did a fantastic job on a midterm exam, and am currently looking at a clear schedule for the rest of the week. You know what that means? HALLOWEEEEEEEEN! Let the shenanigans commence! Pictures might ensue...

Kicking leaves

This morning, I got up all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and as I was walking to class I had one of those moments. Everything seemed right in the world. I was happy, carefree, just enjoying myself kicking through the leaves. I caught some other weary design student eyeing me with caution and I couldn't help but laugh out loud. The sad part is the moment I got to class, it was over. If I can figure out a way to stop letting this one frustrating class get to me, I'm sure I'd be a much happier person. I'm beginning to think that if I stop trying to be a perfectionist and just accept the fact that this is just not my class, life will go back to being fun again. Perhaps it really is just that simple...

If you can't say anything nice...

I've got nothing. Rather than complain and whine and be generally grouchy, I'm just going to refrain. Perhaps once midterms are over I'll be a little better.

High points typically have pets in them

As of Tuesday, I've been dealing with a week of chaos. Exams, projects, papers, reviews...it's like the perfect storm week of my semester. For one of my projects (an illustrated version of Modo's Eyes, I might post it) I need some pictures of cats. I do not have cats but Ma does so off I went to spend some quality time photographing the little buggers. From my glamourshots session with two of the fiesty ones, I've learned several things...

1) Animals will never do what you want them to. Ever.

2) Throwing leaves in the air is a good way to get a cat's attention. For 3 seconds.

3) My dog will never stay out of the damn shot if I don't want her picture. If I do, she's no where to be found.

4) Attempting to take closeup pictures of cats will result in 17 shots of the inside of their nose. You'd think if they've smelled the lens once, they're good. Apparently not.

5) Paying attention to 2 cats at the same time will result in the curiousity of the other three who will end up with some random body parts in the shots. Luckily, one of the ones I wanted is big enough to hide the others that are behind him.

6) Taking some time to goof around with critters is a guaranteed way to forget stress, at least for a little while.

Bizarro

Last night, I had the strangest dream. I'm sure that my subconscious stole it from television but it was so surreal nonetheless. I dreamt that I woke up from a nap back in 1999 and I was in my old apartment. I had dreamt the last 8 years. I woke up knowing what was going to happen so I had a second chance to do things. It was just odd running into people I hadn't seen for years and telling them I knew what would happen. I knew that 9/11 would happen but there was nothing I could do to stop it. I tried to contact people I don't meet until later and tell them things they should be careful about. It was just a strange, frustrating, but fascinating dream. I hope I don't have it again.

Fridays have a soft spot in my heart

You can see the difference already, I'm sure. That's right, I'm almost not sick anymore! And my stress level is managable! And the sun is shining, birds are singing, and I'm pretty sure they've slipped uppers into the local water supply! It's turning out to be one of those days when things are looking up. Perhaps I should buy a lottery ticket...

24 Hour Apathy

Yesterday, I handed in the project from hell (following a critique where I was inches from punching my instructor, my classmates could even tell but I digress) and since that point have decided that I'm taking a day off. I'm still sick and I'm taking a day off to reduce my stress level and get to feeling better, finally. Killing myself to get things done on days like this just isn't worth it in the end. So bring me another round of cold meds and my blankie and I'm turning the cell phone on silent. Unless you're bringing me good news of a miracle cure or free chinese food, don't bother me. I just don't care today.

Discombobulated Tuesday

I'm way out of sorts today. Last night I hardly slept and when I did there were project-plagued cold-medicine warped dreams that kept me tossing and turning. I woke up to a gray morning and sand in my eyes. I made absolutely no effort to get ready for class and ended up in a thrice-worn sweatshirt and hat. Since we just had a workday scheduled, I begged off and went back home where the coughing and nose-blowing didn't gross anyone else out. I ended up working on the project that is due tomorrow (another rant in and of itself, I'll promise to spare you) and occasionally spacing off. I made it to work in one piece but at least twice on the drive over I caught myself wondering how I got to the place I was and hoping I had obeyed all the traffic laws in my lost 45 seconds. Thankfully, Boss is understanding about my current state and doesn't mind when I sit and fog out for a little while. Unfortunately, the project is waiting when I get home. I wish that when you were sick you could just call a time out, get 2 hours of feeling fanstastic so you could get your stuff done before going back to wallowing in misery. Oh if only. Boo, I say to you gray day, Boo.

If wishes were Prius's, beggars would, uh...hum?

I've been thinking about my gas guzzling behemoth lately as well as all the talk on saving the environment. I'm not the most eco-friendly of people...any effort I make is typically done out of the desire to save money over the world. But this issue of cars has me thinking. I wouldn't mind driving a hybrid. Really, I wouldn't. They're a little odd but I think I could get over it. I just don't understand why they're so expensive. Just because I'm a poor college student doesn't mean I should be restricted from saving the planet. They really should just start giving them away. Call it a global effort at eco-responsibility.

Okay, you got me. I really just want a car that sucks less gas. And is free. Definitely free.

Dear Visa Checkcard Marketing Department,

That new commercial of yours? You know, the one with the toys and the juggling and the colors and movement and whimsical circus-like music and the cashier that looks like Super Mario without a hat...

Please make it go away. It's giving me nightmares of the worst kind.

Thank you.

Curses!

I'm sick again. So far its not as bad as the last round, like 3 weeks ago, but it still sucks. I'm still behind on my project and I have Paolo Nutini tickets tonight. Something tells me that Paolo will have to wait for another time, I feel like death. I hope he forgives me.

Do the Evolution* (meme)

I was reminded today that I neglected to do the latest in Meme crazes. The Evolution. After reading other people's reason for doing what we do, I guess it made me wonder about myself. I started in 2005 as a way to keep in touch with my family. At the time, I was newly married and for the first time had lived away from everyone. I started** blogging as a way to include the people I cared about in the day to day hilarity. Eventually, the day to day hilarity turned into the day to day dealing with a separation and divorce. There was good and bad and in 2006 I moved back home to start fresh. After a hiatus from the blogworld because of a massive writer's block, I decided that it was time to start a new blog. It is still mostly day to day and I have a limited readership (I appreciate all 5 of you greatly) but most of the time I'm just venting or trying to tell entertaining little stories. Okay, I spend more time venting. I'm working on it. I'm not sure if other people get as much out of it as I do, it can be incredibly soothing to look back on old posts. Keeping in touch with myself, I guess. So yeah, that's it in a nutshell. The short-lived evolution of my toddlerblog.

* can't help but drop a Pearl Jam reference every now and then

** For the sake of this meme, I went ahead and unlocked some of the posts on the old blog. I took most of them down in an effort to make a new start but what the hell...

Yet another rant about school

I'm insanely behind on a project that's due next week. What makes it frustrating is my instructor is always gone. Talking to an instructor from anther class, this guy is slated to be gone 22 days this semester because he's trying to get tenure. What that means for me is that every time I show up for class, I get reviewed by a different substitute who has a different concept for the final project. I rework the designs for the next class and then get a different set of things to change from a different person. The guy who comes and goes is the one who is going to grade it and I have yet to get a decent critique from him. This class is a requirement and it irritates me to no end that a) I'm paying for this inconsistent teaching and b) if I get below a certain grade for this class, I won't be able to graduate within my program. I've started to really hate this class. I don't feel like I'm learning anything from it and it pisses me off that this is money out of my pocket.

Makes me wanna eat a danish and go on a sugar-induced rampage.

Calling all dark morbid people

I need your help!

I need ideas for a dark poem or short story so I can make a illustrated mini-book for one of my classes. I'll take any suggestions...

It doesn't feel like Monday

1) I'm functioning (barely). Got to sleep around 4:30 this morning. Surprising because I was dead tired and aspired to go to bed around 9. It just didn't happen. My stupid brain wouldn't shut off. Ended up putzing around until I finally went back to bed at 4. Didn't conk out until a half hour later. Slept through my first class. Sigh.

2) I'm cosmically behind on one of my projects. Cosmically. Add to that my instructor has been gone so I'm not getting any feedback and it makes for a doomsday-esque final review. Unless mercy is granted, it's due next week.

3) After the fun country bar part of the weekend, things went downhill. Without going into the ugly details, it's apparent that no nice guy should ever seriously ask me out. Ever. I'm too mean.

4) Got to have lunch with a couple old friends. Life doesn't seem to be kind to anyone these days. I've decided that my life could be a lot worse. My friends are tough, though, and both of them should pull through just fine.

5) Since boss was out of town, I had to work with an idiot today. This idiot reeks of dirty ashtray, talks incessantly about nothing, and likes to hover over what you're doing. Perhaps its my lack of sleep that is making me so sensitive to his 'charm' but I want to kill him and throw his body in a pig pen. Boss returns tomorrow, thank god.


I would give a kidney for a week of vacation at this point.

When Country Bars attack

My head hurts.

Rewind 12 hours...For my little brother's fiancee's birthday, she wanted to go to the local country bar. And by local, I mean right across the street from where I live. So local that a friend and I made up a song about waiting in line there and we named it "Doodle Doo" (we have mad skillz. And by mad, I mean 'drunk'). So I wandered across the street to Doodle Doo and proceeded to drink cheap beer like the locals with my future sister in law's crazy/fun friends. One of the highlights was swapping stories with my little brother. He and I are very forthcoming with the tales when we are drinking and I think we both learned a lot of funny stuff about each other last night. It was one of those golden familial moments (that we won't share with our parents so don't even bother asking, don't worry everything was pretty much legal).
Seeing as I have been chained to my drawing table for the last 3 weeks, when word got out that I was being social my evening got booked with stops I had to make at various bars. I bid adieu to brother and FSIL, leaving my apartment key with them so they wouldn't have to drive home. I wandered to my next stop where my long time BFFs were causing trouble. So of course I joined in. The highlight was asking some bearded guy for his autograph for my friend, Noodles. Okay, not really his autograph. I had him sign Peter Jackson. Noodles was thrilled. And yes, I am totally that girl who will do innocent dares at the drop of a hat (no nudity, violence, or consuming spicy foods...in that order).
After a few more stops and a few more innocent dares (go pet that stranger's mohawk) I made it home to find a pile of shoes on my living room floor. Shoes but no people. I had visions of my brother wandering around town with no shoes on. Then I heard a voice coming from my bathroom. I turned the corner and they're sleeping on the floor. It looked like one of those Febreeze commercials where the people have their noses all smooshed against something only in my commercial the people aren't sober and the rug smells like a bathroom. After I pointed out that my couch is a bed they relocated and all was right in the world.
Three hours of sleep later, I manage to make it to work on time with only a minor headache and some mild dizzyness that seems to be my closest version of a hangover. All in all, a pretty fun night, if I do say so myself.

Boo

Hung won Top Chef. My favorite part was at the end when he said America supported him. Uh, dude...did you SEE the poll results? America didn't want you to win. America wanted Clay to win before they wanted you to win. Sure, you got talent. And a cold, dead heart.

I'm going to go eat a can of spam and some Bugles in your honor, Hung.

A little better

After my two-day hiatus, I'm a teensy bit less stressed. There's still a lot to do this week but I've decided it could be worse. I could have got a bad haircut. Oh yeah, I forgot, I did. For future reference, no matter how bad you need a cut, no matter how many split ends shake their unruly fists at you, do NOT go to any other stylist but your favorite. Even if she's out of town for a week. You too will experience bangs that are too short and layers that sit in funny angles. I'm resisting the urge to take scissors to them myself. I'm going to wait until she comes back and then I'm going to have her rescue me. Hats are in season, anyways.
Aside from that mini-drama...
1) Boss is out of town again. Sadness. Chaos.
2) Projects, still.
3) Sugar, doin' better with the exception of a minor oreo relapse. No pop, though.
4) Going out for Future Sister in Law's birthday. To a country bar. Em typically doesn't do country. I must like her, I guess.
5) Looking forward to that Pushing Daisies show. Hope it lives up to the hype.

Happy Wednesday!

charred

It hit me about halfway through an exam this morning. I'm officially burned out. I'm exhausted. Sick of working on projects where the instructors are giving very little, uh, instruction. Frustrated with the same instructors who give out study guides for tests that have NOTHING to do with the exam (I'll be amazed if I pass that exam, it was ridiculous). Projects that have minideadlines and reviews for busywork that we end up just throwing out anyways. It's like spinning my wheels and getting too stressed out about it. I just don't care right now. I'm not having ANY fun. So I quit. For today. I'm not working on anything today. I'm going to go to work, enjoy time spent not worrying about deadlines, come home, and do NOTHING. Tomorrow, I will go to my review (I'm ready for it) then get my haircut and then...do NOTHING. Two days of peace and quiet. Stress can kiss my ass.